Pa-pa-poker Face, Pa-pa-poker Face!

My gambling neighbor has not had a good week in the gambling world. The last time I heard this much yelling was two weeks ago when my drunk neighbor was yelling at the concierge (who was called up to the floor to tend to her drunkenness) to get out of HER "motherf&*%ing hallway." We are a classy group.

His desk must be on the other side of mine because his outrages are the most audible when I'm on the world wide web.

I'm looking for jobs. He swears!
I'm surfing the Internet. He yells!
I'm creeping on Facebook. He slams his fist against the desk!
I'm playing my Wheel of Fortune computer game. He slams his desk into the wall!

So I have decided to try to beat him at his own game. I have compiled the most annoying songs to play at a 75 level volume. "Rump Shaker" - don't mind if I do! And who knew "Tardy for the Party" would come in such great handy?

Yes, I paid for these.

I'm also going to set my extra alarm (the loudest in the city of Milwaukee) for 6am and set it right next to my desk, because Lord knows he'll be gambling that early. Too bad I might not hear it.

Nothing screams *pun intended* passive aggressive quite like this.

Well, what do you know...Josh Groban is next in queue. This will be good.

Now I'm off to Kathryn's. She went to the market and bought me a watermelon.

How thoughtful.

This Boy Sure Can Snap!

I hope this treasure is just like my first nephew.

I will be bookmarking this video until Lil' B grows old enough, just so we have something to model ourselves after. We too can wear too-tight jammies, dance to my beloved La Bouche, and sing into crusty fruit.

Who needs friends when you can get a partner in crime?!

Today I Ruined My Mom's Birthday Cake.

Kathryn and I decided to make an ice cream cake for my Mom's birthday this weekend. Three layers of chocolate fudge cake, two layers of choco chip cookie dough ice cream, and fudge frosting.

Kathryn is such a pro at making cakes. A mini Martha Stewart.

Me? I'm not the baker. The only good treat I make is banana bread, and that comes out of a package. (Although the last time I made it for an office Christmas party, I lifted it too soon out of the pan so it fell apart. As a result, I had to cut it up into mini banana bread chunks with lopsided edges. No one touched it, because let's face it, what respectable professional with a reputation to maintain makes banana bread chunks with lopsided edges.)

Everything was going so well today, until it came time to frost. Because we didn't want the ice cream to melt too fast, Kathryn warned me that we needed to frost quickly.

I felt like I was on the front of a battlefield.

Kathryn was gaining ground. I, on the other hand, was moving at the pace of a turtle, frosting the same spot over and over to make sure it looked okay, which just caused the frosting to smoosh into the cake and the ice cream to melt over the frosting.

Kathryn asked what the hell I was doing.

I got the giggles.

Then Kathryn and I bumped heads while frosting.

And I started laughing even more.

As the ice cream was dripping over the cake stand.

Needless to say, Kathryn's side looks great.

And my side looks like a three-year-old did it.

To make things worse, when I took it out of the freezer 30 minutes later to try to do damage control, I accidentally *walked into the freezer door* (yep, that's right) and some of the cake stuck to the bottom of the door.

What the fudge.

Happy Birthday, Mom.